you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
