no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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