i jhust puked up my retainher.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
