Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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