What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....