i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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