my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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