How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Randomize
