How'd it feel making her break her religion?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
3pm strippers are depressing
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
