I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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