before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Holy sore nipples Batman
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
