the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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