so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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