her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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