I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
