I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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