It's like God shit irony all over that family
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
