My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
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Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
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I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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