Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Bring me that man meat
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize