im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize