I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
