i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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