He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
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I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
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I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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