First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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