you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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