hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
