I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
