dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
