saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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