I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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