Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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