you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
