Everything about him screamed your future.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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