Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize