The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Randomize
