Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
