hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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