I think my vagina is haunted
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
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