I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
