Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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