apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
