He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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