She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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