Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Just pee around me
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
