Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
