alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Randomize
