I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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