i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
