Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
its not stalking. its research.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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