you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
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