is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize