I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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