i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
