You're completely useless in the revolution.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
