I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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