I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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