I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize