everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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