got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
