yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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